There is a
conspiracy that I’m hoping to crack that has the potential to take the economic
woes of our nation even deeper and be a horrible threat to our national
security. The worst part is that no politician on either side of the table has
any idea it’s happening. Could this mean
they are all in on it too?
Do you remember
the original Men in Black with Will Smith where he’s doing the shooting in the
secret building and the only pop up he shoots is the cutout of the little girl
in the dark alley with a quantum physics book?
My conspiracy theory is along those same lines. It involves little girls that look innocent
but carry a big weapon. You might know
those weapons as Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, or even Do-Si-Dos.
All I can say is
that you better be aware and you better be prepared. It’s about to get real. Those Girl Scouts are up to no good, in the
name of doing good, which is the hardest conspiracy to uncover. Weapon of choice? A little innocent cookie that many have grown
to love, crave, and even hoard. I think the
conspiracy is covered so well that the girls themselves and even their parents have
no idea the ramifications of their contribution.
It all started
almost a century ago. The earliest
mention of a cookie sale surrounding the Girl Scouts organization was in
1917. Over the next few years, the momentum
sky rocketed and in 1922, The American
Girl magazine was published at Girl Scout national headquarters in Chicago.
In the publication was a recipe given to the council’s 2000 Girl Scouts. I’ve uncovered the ingredients of the recipe.
I have not included baking instructions
as this information in the wrong hands could mean devastation (Paula Deen).
An
Early Girl Scout Cookie® Recipe
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar plus additional amount for topping (optional)
2 eggs
2 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
Here’s the not-so-uncanny connection. Insulin, the
hormone to regulate blood sugar was also discovered in 1922 (in Toronto). Could this just be a coincidence? The same year insulin is ‘discovered’ is the
same year the Girl Scouts put out an official magazine? It’s like the Journal of American Medical
Association. Once thought a reputable
research magazine, now shown to be a haven for pharmaceutical influenced
research.
The Girl Scouts
are a perfect cover up for a potential drug company who can profit off the
marketing of insulin. I’ve yet to
discover the drug company responsible for this act of slow drawn out terrorism
but because of the timing of the whole coincidence, I’m guessing they originate
from Germany or maybe even Canada. Those
Canadians hate living in the shadow of the US.
By pedaling
little girls to push sugar filled substances that are irresistible to the
majority of the public, it provides the perfect ‘hook’ for people to get
addicted to sugar and eventually wear out their pancreas. What’s the savior? Injectable insulin (only distributed by the
mysterious drug company) so you can keep enjoying those little bundles of sugar
without going into a diabetic coma.
Fast forward almost
100 years and we are left with hundreds of thousands of innocent girls that don’t
even know they are pharmaceutical reps in training. The girls are having fun learning to run a
business and practice confrontation. A
perfect non-profit front, much the American Society of ________(insert
disease). If they can sell cookies to
absolute strangers, they can definitely push drug samples to doctors willing to
take bribes of fancy meals, trips, and even cash.
With an
administration that pushes for more tax payer funded health care to take care
of all the diabetics we are left sicker and broker than ever before. This is text book terrorism. Ruining a country by making the citizens die
early. It’s just a manner of time before
that 3 finger Girl Scout symbol turns into those three fingers on an
outstretched arm in front of the little girl’s body. Heil Shortcake.
We need a
solution. Obviously you can’t just start
flipping over Girl Scout display tables outside of your local grocery store in
the name of national safety (though I’ve been tempted). People will think you’re crazy. Instead we have to go about this civilized,
in a non-discretionary manner. It will
be hard and take millions to join. It’s
simple but not easy. You have to pass on
buying that box of cookies. Just walk by
and don’t make any eye contact with those pig-tailed smiling faces. You will have to do this twice, into the
store and also when you exit. Trials
build perseverance.
What’s the
benefit? Consuming less cookies,
especially Girl Scout cookies, means you have more control of the release of
insulin in your body. You have single
handedly cut off funding for both streams of income for the terrorist
group. Without funding, they have no
means for action.
If you can
control the insulin response, you drastically reduce, prevent, and reverse
virtually every chronic illness from diabetes to cancer that threatens the
economy and safety of this good ole nation.
We start spending less on disease, thus keeping taxes lower.
Be strong, don’t get sucked into their propaganda
that it’s genetic. This is one of the
early techniques taught to the young girls.
You have power, you have choice, you have a country to save. Get out there and deny, deny, deny those
cookie onslaughts. Just remember you’re
not in this alone. FREEEEEEDDDOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!